so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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