I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
