What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
