Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
