Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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