I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
