Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize