definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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