Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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