coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize