I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
