Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
