it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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