Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Please don't give away my fajitas
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