one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
