he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.