i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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