She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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