you guys were way drunker than both of me
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
