dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
