It's just like the Real World with babies
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
