I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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