i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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