Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
