kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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