so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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