Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
