my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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