New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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