No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
