He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
