my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
