on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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