remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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