I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
