maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...