she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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