Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
