Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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