She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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