The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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