I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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