Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
