i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
