Where did you get a picture of my penis
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my sisters under your porch take her home
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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