mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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