I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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