how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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