You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
