ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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