one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
