Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I believe in your delicious
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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