I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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