I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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