I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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