Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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