You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
