My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
