Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
do nipples grow back?
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