3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
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Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
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