oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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