I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it's like iHOP with fire
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
