Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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