Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
