Define "chronic" masturbator.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
