I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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