I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
