so that wasnt chicken after all
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
