she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize