I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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